How many times have you lied to yourself?
How many times have you lied to others about your real feelings?
If you want to hear the truth, the truth about the girl who always seems to be the happiest person - it happens very often.
I believe it's very common throughout every age group. It doesn't really matter if you are young teenager or adult when you both struggle with depression and the same condition.
If we would be honest to ourselves, the actual truth is we mostly aren't honest to ourselves.
However, sometimes it is okay. Let me explain why.
Today I'm gonna tell you about TRAUMA.
First of all, what do you imagine when you hear that word? Pain, hiding emotions, sadness?
Actually, I think there are many different traumas. It can be some trauma from school, from people or specific person or the worse ones as sexual assault, rape or child abusing. Every trauma has its own specific signs, but there is the thing common for every type of that - inexpressible feel of hidden pain.
It's described as the emotional response to an extremely negative event.
In fact, something happened to me. It's been 6 years in August.
I'm intentionally saying "something" because I can confess I'm not ready to tell anyone. Don't get me wrong, I've already tell a few people, however, no one really cared and I understand, because as I'm not ready to tell that, others are simply not ready to hear that. At least I can't tell it this way, on internet.
If you want or not, whatever trauma it is, it always changes your life. It would be a pretty fairy tale to say it doesn't.
When it happens, in that moment you feel broken. You think the whole situation it's actually your fault and your mistake; you ask yourself: " Is it a cruel nightmare, am I dreaming right now?".
Also it can be a long-term situation and plenty of micro traumas, which affects your life in the same way.
To tell someone means an extreme braveness but... is it real? Maybe it is, however, it's rare.
It destroys you and your life in some way. You usually keep saying how happy you are and try to hide it. It's a feel of failure, inconclusiveness.
The hardest part is going to school or work day by day, face to face to others, trying to act normally. Sadly, no one really notice there is something wrong if they won't take a closer look.
You look at your reflection in the mirror seeing dirty, broken soul. Person who is slowly giving up because there is no one standing at your side.
After many years when you think you already have passed it, you find out how hard the life is for you, but in that moment the trauma doesn't come to your mind so you look for other options and reasons.
The reality is that the trauma has been hidden deep down in your mind, so deep you can't even imagine, neither anyone else and live like it doesn't exist.
It does.
Have you ever been thinking about where the depression, anxiety, OCD, bulimia, anorexia and other mental issues come from? Try to figure it out.
For example the sexual assault trauma, one of the hardest, both for women and men.
That person is simply paralyzed, worried that no one is gonna help. It's the unfounded feel of guilt and failure. A different body.
The victims are often afraid of touching or physical contact and also can't really have a relationship, because when it comes to sex or other things connected to it, they are often facing to the trauma scene again and again.
So, how we can recognize a traumatized person? I made a list of most common signs.
That anything, anyhow happened, you try to UNDERSTAND and despite it you LOVE them.
Let them cry, listen to their needs.
Also there are some things you shouldn't do:
Maybe you are asking "Why don't they go to the therapist?" "Why don't they go and tell anyone?"
It seems simple, but try to imagine the fact that with every remembering of that means facing the pain and hurting retroactively.
Actually, can you imagine that?
It's better to tell to your close friends or family first. Or anyone who stands with you.
It's decision the victim should decide FIRST.
I'm not a doctor, psychologist or specialist so I just write my own tips and advices that actually has worked on me.
Because everybody is different you have to try what can help the most.
But still, there is something you should know: Be there and be supportive, give them love they need and let them speak.
How many times have you lied to others about your real feelings?
If you want to hear the truth, the truth about the girl who always seems to be the happiest person - it happens very often.
I believe it's very common throughout every age group. It doesn't really matter if you are young teenager or adult when you both struggle with depression and the same condition.
If we would be honest to ourselves, the actual truth is we mostly aren't honest to ourselves.
However, sometimes it is okay. Let me explain why.
Today I'm gonna tell you about TRAUMA.
First of all, what do you imagine when you hear that word? Pain, hiding emotions, sadness?
Actually, I think there are many different traumas. It can be some trauma from school, from people or specific person or the worse ones as sexual assault, rape or child abusing. Every trauma has its own specific signs, but there is the thing common for every type of that - inexpressible feel of hidden pain.
It's described as the emotional response to an extremely negative event.
In fact, something happened to me. It's been 6 years in August.
I'm intentionally saying "something" because I can confess I'm not ready to tell anyone. Don't get me wrong, I've already tell a few people, however, no one really cared and I understand, because as I'm not ready to tell that, others are simply not ready to hear that. At least I can't tell it this way, on internet.
If you want or not, whatever trauma it is, it always changes your life. It would be a pretty fairy tale to say it doesn't.
When it happens, in that moment you feel broken. You think the whole situation it's actually your fault and your mistake; you ask yourself: " Is it a cruel nightmare, am I dreaming right now?".
Also it can be a long-term situation and plenty of micro traumas, which affects your life in the same way.
To tell someone means an extreme braveness but... is it real? Maybe it is, however, it's rare.
It destroys you and your life in some way. You usually keep saying how happy you are and try to hide it. It's a feel of failure, inconclusiveness.
The hardest part is going to school or work day by day, face to face to others, trying to act normally. Sadly, no one really notice there is something wrong if they won't take a closer look.
You look at your reflection in the mirror seeing dirty, broken soul. Person who is slowly giving up because there is no one standing at your side.
After many years when you think you already have passed it, you find out how hard the life is for you, but in that moment the trauma doesn't come to your mind so you look for other options and reasons.
The reality is that the trauma has been hidden deep down in your mind, so deep you can't even imagine, neither anyone else and live like it doesn't exist.
It does.
Have you ever been thinking about where the depression, anxiety, OCD, bulimia, anorexia and other mental issues come from? Try to figure it out.
For example the sexual assault trauma, one of the hardest, both for women and men.
That person is simply paralyzed, worried that no one is gonna help. It's the unfounded feel of guilt and failure. A different body.
The victims are often afraid of touching or physical contact and also can't really have a relationship, because when it comes to sex or other things connected to it, they are often facing to the trauma scene again and again.
So, how we can recognize a traumatized person? I made a list of most common signs.
- depression
- anxiety
- anorexia, bulimia, low self-esteem
- enormous fears
- fobia
- anger
- sadness
- emotional outbursts
That anything, anyhow happened, you try to UNDERSTAND and despite it you LOVE them.
Let them cry, listen to their needs.
Also there are some things you shouldn't do:
- NEVER FORCE anybody to tell it if they are not strong enough! It's the worst you can do. Trust me, it can take many years to get courage to say that.
- DON'T BLAME them it's their fault. IT ISN'T.
- Don't try to advise them what they should do. The most important thing is to be understood and heard out.
Maybe you are asking "Why don't they go to the therapist?" "Why don't they go and tell anyone?"
It seems simple, but try to imagine the fact that with every remembering of that means facing the pain and hurting retroactively.
Actually, can you imagine that?
It's better to tell to your close friends or family first. Or anyone who stands with you.
It's decision the victim should decide FIRST.
I'm not a doctor, psychologist or specialist so I just write my own tips and advices that actually has worked on me.
Because everybody is different you have to try what can help the most.
But still, there is something you should know: Be there and be supportive, give them love they need and let them speak.
Thank you for reading, I hope you have a lovely day.
With love,
Andrea
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